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by Arsoemon



Series: ShuKita 100 [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abuse, Friendship, Gen, Minor canon divergence, Spoilers, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 18:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arsoemon/pseuds/Arsoemon
Summary: Akira has come to love his life in Tokyo. But with all the best of it comes challenges and trauma that just may prove too much for him to handle. *There are spoilers, so please proceed with caution*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, and I’m just writing to get my ideas out, so honesty is appreciated, but please don’t troll me (heh)  
(*´ー｀*)  
This will be part of a series but not necessarily related to the other stories besides being Shukita works, so order won’t matter unless otherwise specified. Now that I’m done rambling, I hope you enjoy!

Covered in the blood of their enemies, the thieves stand in silence as they slowly look to their leader, who is standing triumphantly yet panting heavily. Upon closer inspection, it becomes clear that this one took a lot more out of him than any other battle ever had.

"What now, Joker?" There are tear traces through the blood on his face and a distant look in the eyes from which they've sprung. "Joker?" Panther asks, voice heavy with concern. Without a word, he takes a few shaky steps forward before stumbling to his knees, eyes still unseeing. As the silence becomes still, even heavy, the remaining team members see their leader's shoulders begin to shake as his head drops onto his chest. "Joker..." comes another worried whisper.

"Hey, we've got company. What should we do?" Oracle asks, her tone far more delicate than usual. The team waits in silence, and within the minute, Joker has wiped his face and stood, more steady on his feet this time.

"Let's go."

Though his voice sounded just as if nothing had happened, the concern and uncertainty still lingered heavily amongst those behind him. Still, they follow without hesitation and try to limit their questioning glances and get back to the mission at hand.

Not long after, they reach a room with a glowing form hovering in the center. "Is this..." Noir begins with Mona's lusty "The treasure!" serving as both question and answer. As everyone ventures by varying degrees closer to the mass, Joker stays near the door, just barely present enough to plan their return to the palace entrance. Once he's settled on presumably the most efficient route, he leans on the nearest wall. He was completely spent but able to affect nonchalance. For the most part.

As he looks down to straighten his gloves before returning his hands to his pockets, he misses the worried glance Fox casts in his direction. It's not until Mona addresses him directly about sending the calling card that Joker even remembers the others are present. He nods to whatever the little imp just said before heading toward the exit route. He'd like to be alone before the others see any more of what lies beneath his mask.


	2. Chapter 2

Almost as soon as the final bell rings, Akira checks his phone. He has a message from Mishima congratulating and thanking the Thieves for their latest Mementos takedowns, a movie recommendation from Futaba, and an invitation to people watch with Yusuke. He responds to all three before heading to meet Yusuke in the station.

When he gets there, Yusuke asks what he can do for Akira—though he was the one who'd suggested people watching. Akira tells him he's just there to hang out which earns an amused chuckle from Yusuke that makes Akira feel like both a silly child and a most cherished friend simultaneously. "You must have a wealth of free time if that is your decision." Akira is deciding whether he feels attacked or not when Yusuke continues, "I would like to speak to you."

"Will the park do?" Akira suggests.

"The park, you say? Yes. Inokashira would make a fine setting to capture in paint." Yusuke picks up his school bag, and the two catch the train and make comfortable small talk up until Yusuke spots the perfect place to sit. With little more than a contemplative hum, Yusuke unpacks his sketchbook and immediately begins drawing. Akira knows by now that any attempt at conversation will be futile and opts to sit and enjoy the perfect weather and scenery instead. The relative silence is comfortable with Yusuke anyway.

After a few minutes, Yusuke pulls Akira out of his daze. "Akira," he begins, still looking back and forth between the lake and his book. "How are you feeling?"

Akira is caught off guard by the question. Yusuke is neither insensitive nor uncaring, but he does come across as being detached and imperceptive with anything unrelated to his art. "Uh good? Not too hot today, and I got four whole hours of sleep last night, so that's something."

Yusuke stops mid stroke and gives Akira a lingering look that looks to Akira like disappointment or even pity. He appears to be studying Akira, who shifts uncomfortably under the weight of his confidant's gaze. "Are you certain there's nothing troubling you?" Yusuke asks, setting his sketchbook down.

"No? Why do you ask?" Akira knows why and tries his damnedest to hide anything that would expose the fact that he's lying.

Yusuke studies him some more, though for a shorter period of time. "Akira, we saw you." Akira looks away and fidgets with one of the curls on his forehead. "Did something happen?"

"It's nothing" Akira evades.

"Forgive me for prying, but what we witnessed back there looked very little like nothing. This was not the first time you'd been low in both health and stamina. But it is the first I've seen in which you seemed to give up. Are you overwhelmed?"

"No. I'm al-... alright. Nothing to worry about."

"Please keep in mind that we are your team, and if you can trust us with your life, it stands to reason you can trust us with your heart. We still have some time before the last trains if you wish to—"

"Yusuke!" Akira yells far more aggressively than he'd intended. "Please... just drop it... please." The taller boy sits silently with eyebrows raised. "I think... I think I'm gonna head back for today. Thanks for hanging out." Akira is already walking away before Yusuke can decide on how he wants to respond. By the time Akira has made it back to Leblanc, the guilt has already begun eating a hole into him; Yusuke was only trying to help.

Akira skips dinner, telling Sojiro that they'd eaten at the diner while studying, a lie. A lie that Sojiro accepts fairly easily because of its plausibility and the fact that Akira's stomach was tied in too many knots to growl and betray him. Ignoring Morgana's protests, he heads upstairs while Sojiro prepares to head home.

"Hey, what's going on? You haven't been eating right lately, and that's for sure going to affect your ability to lead, y'know." Akira changes into his pajamas before he feeds his plant and lies down. "Are you just completely ignoring me now?!"

"No." Morgana sighs dramatically at Akira's reply and resigns himself to lounging on the bed while Akira checks his messages.

"I apologize for meddling in your personal affairs. I do hope we can continue to be cordial."

"No my bad. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm okay, and so are we, if you can forgive me."

"It is done. Do remember that you have myself along with the others in which you may confide whatever plagues you. There is more to this team than stealing treasure."

Akira gives a half smile at this. "Thanks. I may hold you to that" he types and deletes twice before settling on simply putting his phone on the charger and turning over for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be spoilers. If you haven’t finished the game, turn back now. It gets a bit heavy.

They'd decided to meet here at Leblanc to celebrate the Phantom Thieves' last, arguably most important job. Everyone seemed excited about what they'd just done, and for good reason. But Akira's burdens had become too heavy to bear.

They'd lost Akechi, and while he wasn't a saint, Akira could sympathize and had sincerely hoped they could save him from Shido's madness, too. They'd almost lost Ryuji, Akira's best friend, for the sake of the rest of their lives; the fact that his was included is what gnawed at him. Then he remembered what Niijima-San had suggested shortly after they'd literally saved Shibuya, and a chill ran up his spine. He'd been arrested twice before, and they weren't particularly kind to him either time. Now to confess to being the leader of the very group who's been the bane of the police's existence...? Not to mention the fact that even after all this time, he still felt lost and alone and like a fraud for the way he seemed so confident and relaxed and able to put others at ease. And he'd have to leave his life here behind.

The pain crept up the same path the chill had taken, and without warning, Akira began to cry. Silently and in a deceptively—no—unnervingly calm manner; the only thing that changed was that his previously serene expression was now quickly being drenched in tears. Without a word, Akira stood and walked out into the backstreets. He walked a ways away from the cafe and found the most secluded spot he could before he began yelling and kicking and throwing punches at the nearest wall. At some point, his glasses flew off. Not that it mattered, though. His eyes had long since been blurred by tears and far too many emotions to even attempt to maintain composure, let alone care about the view. He could just barely make out outlines on the dim street and the streaks of red he was leaving on the wall he was attacking.

The next thing he knew, he was in a booth, stiff yet numb. "Akira?" a familiar voice that Akira's mind was too hazy to name. He absently flexed his fingers which prompted him to look and see what was hindering him. His knuckles were heavily bandaged as was the place on his hip that really should've been little but a scar by now, considering he'd gotten it nearly a year ago. He groaned in question as he looked ahead toward the stairs. He could identify the blurry outlines of his friends. Sojiro was closest to him.

"Hey, kid, you finally with us?" Sojiro offers him his glasses. Akira takes them but doesn't put them on. After a silence, Ryuji's the one to address the elephant in the room.

"Sooo... what the hell happened back there, man?" He sounds more concerned than Akira had ever heard him.

"Ryuji!" Ann smacks him in the back of the head.

"What?! Shouldn't we know what made our leader lose his shit? Don't pretend you weren't thinking the same thing!" Akira laughed, softly at first. Then it grew to be so loud and so full that he himself thought he was deranged. Especially when that laughter melted into more tears. He shifted and fidgeted uncomfortably, totally unsure of what to do with his body. Once he regained some semblance of composure, though the tears continued to fall, he stood and walked toward the stairs, ignoring the protests. About halfway up, he heard that same familiar voice say, "I'll go." No one seemed to object, and he could faintly hear the shuffling of feet before the cafe door opened and eventually shut again.

"Akira..." the voice was less sure and more sad this time.

"Yeah, Yusuke?"

"Ahm... I did some reading, briefly, as we awaited your recovery." Akira curled into himself with his back to the stairway. "Um... I'd simply like to ensure you're not experiencing a crisis."

Akira laughed emotionlessly. "No. I'm alright."

Yusuke started walking closer. "But we know that's not true. I've known it for quite some time, Akira. What's troubling you?"

"Nothing. Just a little tired."

"Akira—" Yusuke takes in the noticeably leaner, almost frail form of his leader.

"Yusuke, there's nothing to worry about. Forget it."

"I CAN'T, AKIRA! Do you understand? You are far too important to me; far too important to us.... I... We can't... this cannot be allowed to continue. You are hurting. Please, allow me to ease your burdens. I beg you." The last part comes out barely above a whisper but much closer to the bed. This is only the second time Akira has heard Yusuke yell outside the context of battle. That, combined with all the emotions revealed by all the different inflections in his voice, alarmed Akira.

He feels stupid and starts laughing his mirthless laugh again. He turns onto his back and stretches out as the laughter dies away and, once again, is quickly replaced by full blown sobbing, yet this time the hollowness he'd been feeling has been replaced by a weight so heavy that all he can do is hold his chest as the tears blind him again. "Yu-Yusuke..." The sobbing is completely taking all his breath now, and Yusuke hurries and crouches next to the bed, holding onto Akira's arm and stroking his hair away from his face.

"I am here," Yusuke gently comforts Akira as he lies his head on the bed and simply exists in the moment with his good friend. After an uncertain amount of time, Akira stirs, causing Yusuke to look up.

"I'm sorry... um thank you...for... being patient with me. I... I wanna tell you everything... but..." his voice hitches in his throat, and he leaves it at that in the hopes he can keep himself from crying more.

"I am here." Yusuke repeats, and every time Akira hears it, the weight in his chest seems to catch fire, still very much there but clearly in the process of being converted into something else. "Take your time."

Akira is so caught off guard by this side of Yusuke—and, frankly, his own vulnerability—that he begins to speak and act purely on impulse. He sits up on the edge of the bed and wraps his arms around Yusuke, an action he fears may be rejected until the other boy simply readjusts to return the hug. Akira breathes an internal sigh of relief and wonders if Yusuke can feel him trembling.

"Who has hurt you so severely? Who's to blame?" Yusuke's voice is calm and distant, yet there's the slightest hint of an edge of murderous intent that sends a shiver up Akira's spine. "Do you need the blanket?" Yusuke offers.

"Wh-what makes you think someone else did this?"

"You seem to have what the website called triggers. But beyond that, I've made my own deductions." Yusuke absently strokes Akira's hair as he continues. "A mild-mannered student with an unjust reputation. Endless concern for friends and strangers alike, no matter how arrogant and unwilling to acknowledge the truth of things they may be." Akira can just imagine the smirk on Yusuke's face. "On the surface, you appear to be a genuinely kind and humble individual. So I ask why. Is it truly you or were you—forgive the poor choice of phrasing—beaten into submission." Yusuke tenses at the thought. "In light of your behavior lately, I'm inclined to assume it's both: the most dependable, caring, scrupled, and deserving person in this world is..." He can't bring himself to say it outright. "Then, we consider the fact that you never speak of your past unless it's to recount the injustice you've faced. A particularly traumatic event, without question. No one expects that you'd wish to discuss your living conditions post arrest, but you appear to be markedly devoid of fond memories before coming here. This, I can personally relate to. Still, my tainted memories were once fond ones. And you always avoid discussing your parents." When Akira flinches, even the tiniest bit that he does, Yusuke's breath falters. "Nothing has ever been more heartbreaking..." he whispers.

Though he was still in a highly emotional state, Akira recognized just how much attention and thought Yusuke had been giving him for the few short months they've known each other. This level of devotion was reserved for his art, so to think that Yusuke had made so much space in his world for Akira made him feel a strange jumble of emotions that he actively decided to pack away for another time.

And yes, he was correct. Akira's parents went through irregularly timed cycles of being almost tolerably dismissive and being outright abusive. On the easier days, he simply had to find a way to feed himself and figure out how to keep the teachers from contacting his parents about all the forms they were never home to sign. He'd spent a number of nights stuck in a box not unlike the very one all of his clothes were sent in. The first time he could remember was back in early elementary school. Apparently, he had more fun playing with a box than he did with whatever toy came in it. The idea was if he liked the box so much, he should live in it.

The last time was in middle school, shortly after he'd hit a growth spurt. A teacher had actually stopped by to talk to his parents because they'd ignored so many notes and missed so many meetings. They played a good game, giving the teacher a pitiful story about working constantly that was only half true. After so long, the teacher seemed satisfied with the agreement they'd reached. When he left, though.... Akira had never realized just how small the box was until he was forced in that evening. He'd never felt like he was being slowly crushed to death until then. So he forced his way out. It's at this point that anything his father considered unsavory began to be met with fists. He had said it was for Akira's own good, and he "wouldn't apologize for raising his son." And yet, he was always careful to avoid his face. Until one particular evening, that is.

All Akira had ever told anyone was that he was walking home when he first encountered Shido; not that said walk was an escape attempt. Sojiro's words from their first meeting bounced around in his head:

"In short, they got rid of you for being a nuisance." He never even attempted to refute it.

"It was 'the box of shame.' It sounds stupid and childish, but I guess it did create some long-term problems," Akira attempts a laugh that ends up sounding like a whimper instead. He's afraid to look at Yusuke once he's more or less finished. "Who knew I'd go from box to box, huh." He attempts another joke before hearing Yusuke sniff. He looks at him then, starting with his trembling, white-knuckled fist. When he looks up at his face, he really wishes he hadn't. Seeing Yusuke cry again, on his behalf no less, feels like getting punched in the stomach by Queen when she's brainwashed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" Yusuke pulls him in for another hug, and Akira acknowledges just how out of character this whole evening has been, now that he's more or less back in his right mind.

Neither lets go for a long while, each one believing he's comforting the other. "Have you considered Mementos?" Yusuke asks quietly, his chin on Akira's shoulder.

"Well, it's only Shibuya's cognition, right? And either way, it feels like we would've seen them by now. Plus... I don't think I really wanna know. What if they don't have distorted desires? What if they've just never... loved me...."

Yusuke hugs tighter. "If only I could make it all better."

Akira pulls away to wipe his eyes. "You're definitely off to a good start."

After a commentary-filled rewatch of The Cake Knight Rises and three boxes of Pocky, the boys call it a night. They wake up in a surprisingly comfortable heap on the floor to the scent of Boss's cooking wafting up the stairs. Though they're both groggy and in dire need of water, there's a general feeling of optimism, the sun even looks brighter today.

"I was wondering if I'd have to take drastic measures to get you two out of bed... or floor, I guess." Boss wipes his hands and drapes the towel over his shoulder. "Is there anything I can do, kid?" He asks sincerely.

Akira smiles a bit before letting it go. "You've done more than enough already. I can't inconvenience you any more than I already have. Thank you for the meal." Akira hesitates to pick up his fork, but only for a second. The curry smells even more delicious than usual, and it's not like he's been eating well lately, either.

Sojiro scoffs. "What's with the formalities? And do you mean to tell me I started that adoption application for nothing?" Akira chokes on his rice.

"Adoption...?!" He can only just barely gasp as he continues to cough, Yusuke patting his back urgently while still looking amused.

"That customer of mine who knows your folks... uhh... told me. We've been working on getting you out of there for some time now. This whole deal with the probation and the school just happened to be a horribly convenient excuse. So uh... Merry Christmas... if you're not too tired of this old grump." Sojiro slides an envelope across the counter.

With shaky hands, Akira opens it. With even shakier hands, he shows Yusuke, silently asking for confirmation that that is in fact the word "approved" in all capital red letters. "This is most wonderful news! We must celebrate!" Yusuke raises a silent, smiling toast to Boss who's standing against the bookshelf with his arms crossed, watching Akira.

After reading the forms with "approved" on them for the 17th time, he slams the papers on the counter with a determined look on his face before standing. After two seconds of consideration, he walks to the end of the counter and approaches Sojiro for a hug that he doesn't deny.

"Alright, you big sap," Sojiro pats him on the back as he pulls out of the hug that lasted longer than Akira expected him to allow. "Finish your breakfast. Can't have you malnourished under my care." Akira gladly complies as Yusuke asks for a second plate. "Be my guest." Sojiro gestures to the stovetop. "As a matter of fact, I'll save you a third."

After both he and Yusuke have finished eating, Akira washes their dishes. As he's headed to join Yusuke upstairs, he stops and gives Boss a meaningful look. Boss strokes his beard with that small smug smile he's wont to wear before waving Akira off in that lovingly annoyed way Akira has come to expect. Everything looks new now that this place is officially his home; goodness knows it's felt like a home for quite some time now.

He's still in grateful awe at his surroundings as he tops the stairs to Yusuke sketching furiously in his sketchbook. Akira simply watches in a state of bliss. "I don't suppose I could trouble you to host one more night?" Yusuke still hasn't looked up, but his hand is moving much slower and more meticulously. "We haven't watched the ghost one yet, and if I'm being honest," Yusuke puts down his pencil and looks up. "I'd like to be sure that you'll recover fully."

By now, Akira's tired of crying, tears of joy and otherwise, but the honest look in Yusuke's eyes threatens to make him do it again. "So, you wanna take care of me. Is that what you're saying, Yusuke?"

"That's...!"

"A joke." Akira can't help but laugh a little at how flustered Yusuke is.

"Yes. Well, at any rate, I suppose it's true," Yusuke recovers quickly. "I believe it would be best to inform the others as well."

"Yeah." Akira's not looking forward to it, but he's still too hopeful, too excited, too grateful to let the anxiety interfere with the here and now. "We can do it this afternoon."


	4. Chapter 4

"So that's why you've been actin' so weird lately..." Ryuji looks sympathetic, and Akira knows he gets it.

"You know you could've just told us, right?" Ann uncrosses her leg.

"Not exactly the best icebreaker," Akira smirks. "I don't wanna dwell on it much. Just figured you guys should know I'm not losing my mind."

"While we may not share your particular experience, I believe we all can sympathize and are more than willing to listen, should you ever wish to discuss it," Haru reaches for his hand across the table as everyone emphatically agrees.

"Thank you," Akira says with a sad smile, the first of many to come.

As everyone begins to leave for the night, Sojiro reminds the boys that the curry on the second shelf is for them, an entire second pot for the notoriously hungry Yusuke, before walking home with Futaba.

"You said 'the ghost one.' We have three."

Yusuke reads the back of the one with the best cover. He gasps, "I've wanted to see this one for quite some time but could never remember the name!"

"This one it is," Akira laughs. The two watch with limited conversation since Yusuke is so invested in the effects.

"Fascinating! And when you consider the time period... phenomenal..." Yusuke continues to watch the credits while Akira stretches. He's turning to the stairs just as he hears a rumbling noise.

Without even turning around, he laughs, knowing the source. "I'll go warm the curry up."

They chat while they eat and then return for Yusuke's second choice, one that's decidedly less "fascinating," based on how much they talked through it and Yusuke condemning it to bad slasher status. "Hardly worth a cult following," he shakes his head grimly as Akira turns everything off for the night. They talk about anything and everything until they both begin to doze.

Akira is first to wake up the next morning, and while he hates to do it, he dresses as quietly as he can. Sojiro is already downstairs, and he looks at him, knowingly. With a sigh, he motions him to the counter where he sets a plate for him. "For the road," he turns back to the kitchen before his eyes can betray him.

Akira has one favor to ask him. He hands over a stack of envelopes. "My one act of cowardice," he shares a look with Sojiro, and the man sighs again.

"I understand. Now... you probably want to get going. Before your friend stops you," Sojiro puts a strange amount of emphasis on the word friend, but Akira leaves it. It won't matter. He and his foster father share one last look, and he walks out of Leblanc's door, possibly forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may come back to this one if the ending starts to feel less than satisfactory. Thanks for reading!


End file.
